Monday, 25 December 2017

ClemantiCarol for Christmas Day


ClemantiCarol for Christmas Day




 

'God help us you're no gentlemen... Is this the price we pay!?
(To the Tune of ‘God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen…)
I.
The people they have chosen
Oh Lord what have they done?
Negotiations started
And we are on the run
The Brexiteers play hard and fast
But sense they all have none!
No tidings of comfort or joy
Comfort or joy
No tidings of comfort, or joy.
II.
Oh ye mindless Brexiteers
Please, just give us a break
The glory you imagine
Will end up in heart ache
Though Theresa May might get a deal
T’will be many, many years.
Oh gawd ye loathsome Brexiteers, Brexiteers
Oh gawd ye loathsome Brexiteers
III.
In Downing Street at number 10
The Blessed May resides
With ‘Phil at Home’ her anchor
Clasped safely to her side
She wrestles with the many pleas
But finds she can’t decide
Oh which way must she surely jump, surely jump?
Oh which way must she surely jump?
IV
Now to The May sing praises
For she is all we’ve got
Unless you want young Corbyn
But he cares not a jot
For Europe is to him a curse
Our saviour he is not
No tidings of comfort or joy (there)
No tidings of comfort or joy!

 

Saturday, 23 December 2017

Service of 9 Carols and 9 Lessons


ClemAntics




ClemAntics Extends Seasonal Greetings to All Our Readers - May the Farce Be With You

You are Invited this Christmas to Share in:

The Festival of 9 Carols and 9 Lessons from St. Theresa's The Church of Our Lady of Duplicity, Maidenhead



Carol - The First --The Three Sh*ts

I saw 3 Sh*ts bring Brexit in
One bright June day, one bright June day
I saw 3 Sh*ts bring Brexit in
Now half the nation's in mourning



The First lesson is taken from the Book of Proverbs 1:

The promises of Leaders, who claim to be daughters of Church of England vicars must be taken with a generous helping of salt


Carol -the Second – Not-so Merry Gentlemen

God help us every working-man
There's plenty more to pay
with 40 billion for Brexit
And with inflation on the way

The Second Lesson is taken from the Book of Proverbs 2:

Never trust a journalist who turns MP. Never trust a MP who turns journalist


 .


Carol -the Third – 'kin Wenceslas


Czech Labourer Wenceslas fcucked off home
on the Feast of Brexit
The fruit just lay round about
No workers left to pix it?



The Third Lesson is taken from the Book of Proverbs 3:

Beware geeks bearing gifts of £350 million





Carol -the Fourth – Ha'way in a Manger

Be a dog in a Manger
Cut your nose off instead
No attempt to staunch the flow
As the economy bled

The Fourth Lesson is taken from the Book of Proverbs 4:

Never be DUPED by DUP – (Don't Underestimate Protestants)



Carol -the Fifth – The 3 Kings?


We 3 Kings of Mendacity are
Deceit and lie have served us this far
With falsity and fib we'll tickle your rib,
Kings of misrepresentation we are , we are…oh! Oh!


The Fifth Lesson is taken from the Book of Proverbs 5:

Never get caught between 2 Fools



Carol -the Sixth – In the Bleak Mid-Winter?

In the bleak mid-Winter
The nation's left to moan
Wages are still unfrozen
Sterling falls like a stone

The Sixth Lesson is taken from the Book of Proverbs 6:

The course of true love never did run smooth



Carol -the Seventh – Bethlehem

O let us live it down in Bedlam
Lets continue to live BoJo's lie
Though we're in deep; we're all just sheep
Let's just let it all pass by


The Seventh Lesson is taken from the Book of Proverbs 7:


Talking through one's hat is a skill only few can perfect



Carol -the Eighth – Lully Lullay

Lully, Lullay, thou little Tiny Isle
somewhere off the coast of Europe
Bye Bye, Big world
Bye Bye, lully lullay



The Eighth Lesson is taken from the Book of Proverbs 8:


Time future has passed and Time past is time future




Carol -the Ninth – Joy to the World

Joy to the world! Brexit is come
Let Theresa make BoJo King
Bring on Gover with his broom
'Lord Help us!' let us sing
'Lord help us!' let us sing
'Lord Help us!' let us sing
'Lord Help us!' let us sing

The Ninth Lesson is taken from the Book of Proverbs 9:

In the evening when the sky grows dark in the West it is full of chickens flying home to roost



------------------------------------------------------------------------

But at this festive time of year let us not forget

  • 130,000 children homeless and in temporary accommodation*

  • Rough Sleepers up 134% since the Tories came to power*

  • Rough Sleepers up 7% on 2016 to a new 10 year High*

  • Almost 400,000 more children UK were living in poverty last year compared with 2012-13**

  • 300,000 more pensioners in the UK were living in poverty last year compared with 2012-13**


*Figures from Independent Newspaper
**Figures from Joseph Rowntree Trust



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