The British Brexiteer

Grenadier companies were first formed in the British Army in 1678; they were finally abolished in 1855 when the military realised after a period of consideration and contemplation that lobbing hand grenades had resulted in as many lobbers being killed by these deadly lumps of metal as those lobbed at. During the intervening 277 years the British demonstrated a gargantuan appetite for self- defeating actions, many of which are celebrated in jingoistic songs. The appetite for self- deception,and the self-inflicted wound amongst us Brits continues unassuaged into the present.

THE BRITISH BREXITEER

(To the tune of The British Grenadier)

The British Brexiteers

Some talk of Geoffery Archer,

And some of Donald Trump,

And there are many others, who also give us the ‘ump,

But of all the world’s dissemblers

There’s none that can compare,

What rot, what rot, what rot, what rot,

To the British Brexiteer.

Those heroes of iniquity,

Are full of contradictions,

They little care for others’ fears

And ply us with their fictions,

But our brave boys they know it

That all will end in tears,

What rot, what rot, what rot, what rot,

For the British Brexiteers.

When e’er they are commanded,

By the Govenor and his Johnson,

They sally forth like the aged Don

And seek remainers to pounce on,

But for all their smoke and bluster

There’s nought but muted cheers,

What rot, what rot, what rot, what rot,

The British Brexiteers.

And when the show is over,

To the Lord Mogg they’ll give thanks,

But Albion will be busted down

From officer to other ranks,

Yet they will shout and holler

And give themselves a cheer,

What rot, what rot, what rot, what rot,

For the British Brexiteer.

Oh what a tale of woe is this,

Led by the witless few,

Who, no doubt, will escape the rout

When their time is due,

But we will not forgive them

So dense beyond compare,

What rot, what rot, what rot, what rot,

The British Brexiteer.