Lexicon of a Liar

AN ABC OF ABJ  - Part 1

A is for AFRICA

 “The problem is not that we were once in charge but that we aren’t anymore.”

And AVARICIOUS

“All the under 30s I know are just as avaricious as we...they have an almost NIGERIAN interest in money.”

B is for BANKROBBERS (women in burkhas)

And BASHAR-AL-ASSAD

“Hooray...Bravo... Keep going!”

C is for CLINTON

“She’s got dyed blonde hair, pouty lips and a steely blue stare like a sadistic nurse in a mental hospital.”

D is for DOMINIC’S dirty tricks

And DISLOYALTY (to Maybot and successive girlfriends)

And for ‘DYING in a ditch’

E is for ECONOMICAL with the truth

·         £390 billion for the NHS

·         40 ( I mean 6 ) new hospitals

·         50,000 new nurses (including the 19,000 we are no longer going to get rid of)

F is for “FUCK BUSINESS”

And for FAKE TWITTER ACCOUNT

G is for “GIRLY SWOTS”

And for “(Girls) GLISTENING like wet otters”

H is for HOMOPHOBIA

 For “tank-topped bum boys” for “shirt-lifters”

I is for IMMIGRATION scare

 “80 million Turks would come to this country if we stayed in the EU”

J is for JOHNSON, which just cannot stay in his trousers

K is for KALAMATA Olives

“I have no more in common with ...a Kalamata Olive than Winston Churchill”

L is for LETTERBOXES, LIES AND LIBYA

“Sirte would have a successful future as a luxury resort once investors have cleared the bodies away.”

M is for McINTYRE and any other illegitimate sprogs who may litter Johnson’s path.

And for MISOGYNY

“(she was) a mega-titted six footer”

“Women are naturally fickle”