Meeting of the Labour Party Supporter’s Club

Meeting of the Labour Party Supporter’s Club -Somewhere

(Not in Scotland, obviously)

• Well comrades, what do think of that load of old bollocks?

• Old bollocks is right and his name is Corbyn!

• Hold on a minute, at the time we all thought Corbyn looked a good bet to take on the Tories. It’s just that, it turns out he’s got about as much personality as the speaking clock and, like the speaking clock, is totally lacking in spontaneity.

• That’s a bit harsh, true but harsh. But at least there’ll be a leadership contest, and that’ll give us the chance to get it right this time.

• Get it right? Get it right? The only thing we’ll get right is to decide who’s going to win before the contest starts.

• Hold on, that’s undemocratic and we’re supposed………

• This is no time for the niceties of what is or isn’t democratic. Democracy is what the leadership says it is, and anyway, the people don’t care about democracy, they just want to be told what to do and that the Socialist Promised Land is just around the corner.

• But, I still say………

• I think it sounds like you should join the bleeding hearts Lib Dems. Anyway, enough of this comrades, who’s going to be leader?

• Well, the Tories keep banging on that they’ve had 2 female leaders and we haven’t had one so maybe……

• Yes, but Corbyn was a bit of an old…

• Stop right there! We’ve got enough trouble with anti-Semitism without introducing sexism into the mix.

• Sorry. It’s just that…

• Enough!

• So it’s got to be a woman.

• Yes. Tough on Starmer though. At least he’s a grown up!

• Yeah, but he’s a ‘Sir’. If we had him as leader we’d be a laughing stock.

• No change there then!

• Who then?

• First off, we are always accused of being too Metropolitan centrist, so that rules out Thornberry – anyway, she’s too leery and la-di-dah what with her being married to a high court judge an’ all.

• But she comes from a working class background.

• Well, she ain’t bl**ding working class now is she?

• So… must have working class credentials intact and after last week’s little episode (sic), and she’s got to be from the North.

• Remind me, where does the North start again?

• Shut up!...... Watford Services!

• Who’s left, but maybe not too left?

• Okay, there’s that Long-Bailey – a bit iffy with a double barrelled name, but at least it’s not Old Bailey.

• But she’ll be Corbyn Mk 2 – and that went well.

• Y’think? Who else?

• Rayner?

• Nah. She’s big mates with Bill-Bailey, and they’re stitching up the leader and deputy leader.

• Christ! Well, were not coming home any time soon.

• Then there’s Nandy.

• Yes but with her, its Wigan this and Wigan that. If she becomes leader and PM, she wouldn’t live at No10 unless it was No10 High St, Wigan!

• So that just leaves Phillips.

• Now there’s somebody with great working class credentials. She’s straight talking, honest and, more to the point she’s been on Have I Got News For You!

• Bloody hell! Straight talking, honest, are you mad? She won’t stand a chance!

Mind you HIGNFY got the Bozo elected.

• We’re fcuked!
  
  

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