WITHER SOCIAL CARE
At last the long awaited Johnson Care Plan has been unveiled and what a plan; young, low paid workers will have to fork out extra tax in National Insurance payments, the elderly will pay nothing although they may still have to sell their home if, for some reason, they can’t find £85000 in readies hanging around.
It is estimated that this policy will raise £36 billion in three years, the bulk of which will go the NHS and the remainder – in your mind! – will go to Social Care in two years time; this, of course, is no plan at all and will not come close to addressing the present crisis in Social Care.
Needless
to say, I have been much exercised by this tragic circumstance and in
my despondency, I found myself quietly falling into a troubled sleep.
As I slept I became aware of a strange presence who introduced
himself as none other than Jonathan Swift, late Dean of St Patrick’s
Cathedral, Dublin.
He smiled knowingly and, without presumption, gave me form to ideas similar to those he developed in his essay “A Modest Proposal”, by which Social Care might be delivered.
The following, therefore, is a proposal I humbly present to the Care Quality Commission for their consideration, to address the issue of Social Care for now and for all time.
AN IMMODEST PROPOSAL
For preventing the old people of England from being a burden on their families or country and for making them beneficial to the public.
It is a melancholy object to those who walk through the towns or travel in the country, when they see streets, the roads and shopping centers crowded with the elderly of every gender imaginable! These people being unable to work for their honest livelihood are forced to employ all their time strolling around without purpose and, in the case of identifiable males, make a tuneless whistling sound without thought or care for those around them.
I think it must be agreed by all parties that this prodigious number of old people is, given the deplorable state of the nation presently, a very great additional grievance. Therefore, whomsoever develops a process by which such citizens can become sound and useful members of the country will be feted throughout their lifetime and beyond.
It is true that, for much of their lives, the elderly have been net contributors to the economy and well-being of the nation. However, it is now estimated that approaching two million pensioners are living in poverty with little prospect of improving their status in the future. How this number be maintained and provided for, which I have said by their very existence, they place an inordinate burden on the exchequer; in pension payments, the funding of physical care and hence has presented a seemingly impossible situation for which no government in living memory has seriously sought a solution.
I shall now humbly propose my own solution to this issue which, I trust, will bring a resolution to the problem, not to mention substantial savings to the exchequer.
Of the two million old people in poverty, a substantial proportion are unable to care for themselves and might, therefore, be used to alleviate the food poverty of those more able than themselves. I accept that elderly flesh will be less tender than other meat derivatives, but has the advantage of being in plentiful supply – especially during the winter months – and cooked slowly whether by boiling, roasting or fricasseed will at least be edible and provide the necessary nutrition to enhance continued good health in those for whom it is intended.
I make this proposal not from any religious or doctrinaire stance nor do I have the least personal interest in it other than the public good of my country; although being of a certain age myself, I am rather like a turkey voting for Christmas. Yet I will not allow this petty (sic) distraction to detract from the purposefulness of this strategy.
I am certain, some will find my proposal distasteful – as, no doubt, will be the flesh – yet the advantages clearly outweigh any namby-pamby criticism that might come from certain members of society.
First the poor elderly will be relieved of their burden. Second, the Exchequer, meaning all of us, will make substantial savings that may be used on relevant projects, like a bridge spanning the Irish Sea and, last but not least, relatives will be able to inherit the family home without the hindrance and imposition of exorbitant care home fees.
Finally,let me say, I am not so violently wedded to my own opinion as to reject any offer proposed by “wise men” which will satisfactorily provide for the elderly a respectful and dignified end of life experience. I fear, however, that these so called “wise men” will much prefer any cheaper option even than my own for, in the end, the elderly remain in their eyes no more than an unwanted drain on the nation’s finances.
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