Wednesday, 9 April 2025

Starmer Takes Charge....err.........?

 

Starmer: (repressed rage gradually gives rise to anger and irritated hostility in his voice):
 
 "Now which button would I press to get that abject nuisance Trump and his destabilising 'Tariff fixation' off my back for GOOD?"

Naval Officer: (on Starmer's Right (tentatively and politely) 
 
 "Err….not that one Sir. You are I'm sure aware, Sir, that though this is called an 'Independent Nuclear Deterrent' we can't use it without the consent of the….err….US President…."

Starmer: (rage rising to find its voice)
 
 "Damn it. What do I care? I'm in control here! I'll give him back  a taste of his own medicine. Thinks he can dictate to the UNITED KINGDOM when they used to be a COLONY of ours! Has this grasping capitalist no sense of HISTORY?"

Naval Officer: (agitation in his voice)
 
 "Err….with the greatest of respect Sir, push that button and you not only get rid of President Trump but of my whole family, yourself and your family and………err…….most of the rest of the world"

Starmer: (pausing to think for a moment)
 
 "Hmm…..yes, I see what you mean……but the man's a complete moron and a chump! Might be more sensible to give it a bit of time and see if we can work round the 10% tariff this idiot man-child has set for us…….hmm"

Naval Officer: (with relief rising in his voice and manner)
 
 "Very wise indeed Sir…..if you don't mind me saying so. Very wise indeed"

Starmer:(distracted by another thought):
 
 "So you're saying our INDEPENDENT NUCLEAR WEAPON isn't really INDEPENDENT but relies on the approval of whatever moronic idiot is in the White House who I HAVE TO CONSULT before I can use the bloody thing?"

Naval Officer: (with benign and gentle tact)
 
  "Yes, I'm afraid so Sir…….I'm afraid so….."
 
TO BE CONTINUED….. 

FADE……MUSIC PLAYS "It's a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong.


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