Anne de Rea in Reformland a Semi-Independent State of Trumperland

 

Anne de Rea in Reformland a Semi-Independent State of Trumperland

(as told by Anne de Rea-Jenkyns)

Humpy Dumper Revisited

 

Anne de Rea was sashaying through the Forest. She hummed the tune to a song (I'm an insomniac), which she had written that night. She had been so excited at being invited to the Mad Farrago's Party that she was unable to sleep. It was just amazing that sitting up in bed at 3.00am, drinking Horlicks was enough inspiration for her to write another belter of a song. She was sure that The Mad Farrago would allow her to perform it at his Party – for who could resist her in her sparkly blue jump suit topped off with a St. George foulard ?!

“ I'm an insomniac, staring at the ceiling; think you'll catch my meaning”

She screeched the words contentedly as she made her way through the trees. Suddenly her progress was arrested. The forest path ran abruptly into a brick wall. At one end of the wall was Tweedledum; at the other end stood Tweedledummer. Each had a paint brush in his hand.

“ Who are you and what are you doing, and how did this wall suddenly appear?” enquired Anne de Rea

“Eee Lass, I'm Tweedledummer, but you can call me Lee Neanderthal, most people do. Over there, in the 'Tice is Right' T. shirt is Tweedledum, but you can call 'im 'Dick'. He looks a Dick, don't 'e?”

“ I see, Mr.Neanderthal. But what are you up to?”

“That's easy to answer; most things are, as long as you ignore the question, I find. Now what did you say?”

Anne De Rea repeated her question.

“ Well you see, Miss or is it 'Miss England' ?“ piped up Tweedledum, winking his eye “ The Mad Farrago told us to paint this Red Wall a lovely Turquoise colour.”

“ I don't think you're making a very good job of it.” ventured Anne D'

“ It'll look better, like, when we put t'logo on. We've chosen 'Gotham Ultra Black' for t'words. Quite fitting don't you think?

Anne D' did not reply. She had noticed a large egg-shaped person sitting astride the wall.

“No;no;no, let me speak! Who are you, little girl?” quoth the Egg.

“My name's Anne De Rea-Jenkyns, but you can call me AJ or Jenks, if you like. Who are you and why do you say all that No; no ; no stuff ?

“I'm not sure I like your tone or your questions, Young Lady, even if I do rather like that gorgeous jump suit. I am Humpy Dumper, the People's Egg; the biggest Eggo you will find this side of the pond.

“But you have The Farrago's face. You're nothing but a rotund Farrago”

“ No, no, no let me speak! I can choose to wear whatever face I want. Sometimes, I'm the Farrago; more often I'm the Trumper. I can be whatever face I choose. It's the same with words.”

“How do you mean?” asked AJ, looking perplexed.

“ Words are very useful; I use them a lot. They are very pliable I can make them do whatever I want. So when I say

' I'm rootin' for Razz Pootin. Vlad is the Leader I admire the most' I'm really saying Vlad's a despicable Dictator, only Trumped by Stalin (and maybe Mussolini). As such, he should be erased from the planet. (or at least white-washed from history)'

“ That doesn't make sense, but I like it” mused AJ. “ I'm not sure I'm clever enough to use words in that way

“Nonsense. Once you realise that facts are lies, and lies are facts anything is possible. If the Orange Man-Baby can get the hang of it anyone can. Even Old Sir Starmless is at it:

HD starts to sing

“I say 'nationalism'; he says 'patriotism', I say ' let's call the whole thing off'. Ha! Ha!”

“ I see” exclaimed AJ, experiencing a light-bulb moment. So when dear old BiBi says 'Let's have a ceasefire' He really means 'Take a break and then we'll bomb the shit out of them'.

“Exactly Little Girl, exactly!”

“ Like when we used to say austerity, we meant ' let's continue to Fcuck over the Poor' “.

“ I think she's got it! By Jove she's got it!”

“ But what do we mean by REFORM, I wonder?”

 

“Now there's a thought” said a smiling Cheshire Cat as he floated above the wall.

 

 

It must be love, love, love; love is the best