21st Century Fuccs presents
Thunderturds – The Next Generation
In
Unleash Hell
Introducing
Thunderturd 1 – Agent Orange – The Commander in Tweet
Thunderturd 2 – Liddle ‘please stop calling me that’ Marco
Thunderturd 3 – Pete ‘Bomber’ Kegsbreath
Thunderturd 4 – Jared ‘Cushty’ Kushioner
Thunderturd 5 – Neat ‘n Yahoo
Also Featuring:
Bobby Brayne-Lesse
Lady Pamela (Bondi)
Not Forgetting Lady B’s Chauffer
J.D. Vince-Parker
Scene 1 – Thunderturd base on Epsteem Island
Lady Bondi’s Limo
Lady B: What news from Wall Street, Parker?
J.D.V. Parker: The Nasdaq is up; the FTSE’s climbing; the TSE has gone through the roof. It looks like we’re in a bull market, MiLady.
Lady B: Parker, this is a disaster. Did I not say to Agent Orange that keeping the Thunderturds grounded would be a sign that peace was on the way and that would result in a hike in share prices. Unless we crash the market, we’ll miss the opportunity to make trillions. Get me Thunderturd 3 on the line.
T’turd 3: Bondi, baby! Bomb the Bastards; Shock n’ Awe; Overwhelming violence; Show no mercy…
Lady B: Is that you Kegsbreath? Still found no cure for your Tourettes I see, Pete.
T’turd 3: Show no Mercy; Overwhelming Violence; Shock n’ Awe; Bomb the Bastards…What can I do for you, Blondie?
Lady B: We have a problem with Agent Orange. He’s gone on Fuccs News spouting some word salad about turning the Straits of Hormuz into the Straits of More-Schmooze and building a floating casino there. The markets have taken it that peace is imminent…The Dow’s gone through 47k and still rising. What are we going to do Kegs?
T’turd 3: Mother of all Bombfests; Take out the Schoolkids; Let loose Hell; Get in there!!!
Lady B: Good idea, Pete. We have a plan, but I think I’ll check it out with Brayn-Lesse first.
Voice of Brayne-Lesse: Hello, You’re through to the Make America Healthy Again (MAHA) help line. I’m out of my orifice at the moment. If you’re enquiring about Brain Worms press1; If you are seeking information about ‘Operation Anti-Vax’ press 2; if you’re worried that circumcision has made you autistic – hard fcucking luck; For all other queries including ‘what the fcuck is going on in I-ran’ please go to our web-site www.armageddinbored@trumptytrump.con
J.D. : Well, Lordy; Lordy. That was a waste of time, Milady. I guess RFK Brayne Lesse is only on the team because of his Pappy…
Meanwhile at Thunderturds HQ
T’turd 1: Thunderturd 1 (Agent Orang) calling T’turd 5 (Neat ‘n Yahoo). Are you there, Neat?
T’turd 5: What do you want, Putz? I told you I call you. You don’t call me.
T’turd 1: I just wanted to inform you, Mr. Yahoo, Sir, we have just bombed I-Ran back into the Stone Age
T’turd 5: So, what do you vont, a medal?
T’turd 1: No, Mr. Neat. I’m getting rather bored. I am awaiting further instructions’
T’turd 5: I suggest, Orange Schmuck, that your priority is to put your house in order. Lady Blondie and J.D. are stirring up trouble behind your back. You need to neutralize both of them.
T’turd 1: Do I have to whack both of them? I need J.D ‘Keep your friend close; keep your enemy closer’ as Corleone used to say (he’s a friend of mine, great friend, great friend).
T’turd 5: Ok, Bupkes, But the Blondi gets it. While you’re at it you need to cream Epsteem Island. The optics of Thunderturds being based at Pedolo Island are bad.
T’turd 1: I’m on it, Neat. Am I still in charge, Your Wiselyness?
T’turd 5: I’m not sure, I’ll have to ask Pute about that…No promises…
To be continued…
