CLEMANTICS November (2)
"MAY THE FARCE BE WITH YOU"
The
Moggerwocky – or The Maytrix bites back
(
a tribute to the genius of Lewis Carroll)
'Twas
Brexit and the Right-wing Toads
Did
plot and brawl within the ranks
All
pumped up were the Boris/Goves
The
Mogg-Moggwock and the other cranks
Beware
the Mogg-Moggwock, my girl
This
Toff will bite; the Mogg will scratch
Beware
the Rudd-Rudd bird and shun
The
duplicitous BoJosnatch
She
took her strong and fabled Sword
Long
time the Moggwock she sought
So
stuffed is she by the Brexit Three;
Moggwock
will kill with ne'er a thought
And
as in huffish thought she stood
The
Mogg-Moggwock, with eyes of flame
with
Tory Bootlicker and more Dead-Wood
declaimed
in Latin, as it came
Et
Tu, Moggy-Mogg! Through and Through
The
fabled sword went Snicker Snack!
She
left him dead; and with his head
To
number 10 went triumphant back.
“Thou
hast slain the Mogg-Moggwock?
Said
Bojosnatch, “ I hear?”
O
Frabjous day! Callooh Callay
But
BoJo's next ,I fear
'Twas
Brexit and the Right-wing Toads
Did
plot and brawl within the ranks
All
pumped up were the Boris/Goves
The
Mogg-Moggwock and the other cranks
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We
return for more of:
The
Daily Service from St. Theresa's The Church of Our Lady of Duplicity,
Maidenhead
The Address
Given
by The
Right-Raving Don T. Rump, Ass-Bishop and Primate of the America 1st
Church
I'm
Supa-delighted; Jumbo-delighted to be back here at St. Theresa's.
Your High-Priestess and I have a very, very special relationship
going (winks
at congregation);
we're both committed to the max, we've both fallen for me hook-line
and sinker.
You
know, since I was here last, I've been totally immersed, I mean top
to bottom coveraged in the Old Testamony Book of Brexitus. Seriously,
Melania reads me at least two verses each night as my bed-time story.
Let's
catch up on the story so far. The guy Mose is awesome, huge, certain
to win Most Valuable Player (MVP) at any Superbowl – a complete
legend!
Mose
has just parted the sea – no, I mean it, not FAKE NEWS - he's just
parted the sea and marched the Brexitites across the Straits of
Dover. They're safely in the Broken Promised Land. Mose is in town
enjoying a bit of down-time, ordering up Milk and Honey shakes for
his Generals.
Pharoah
Barmier, a major sleazebag and a buffoon, was kooky enough to try to
follow the man, Mose across the water. And, hey; guess what? They all
got drowned as the waters rolled back in - Barnier, real screwball,
total loser.
So
now on with the story:
Brexitus
3 verses 1-15
1.
So Mose is shooting the breeze in a bar in Dover, when Hammo, his
Commander-in-Chief comes in. “ You know Mose” he starts off “
It's not working ; it's chaos out there – dudes doing all sorts of
s..t 'cos we've no longer got any Eugyptian laws.”
2.
Now Mose, is really mad at the C-i-C “ What's up with you, Hammo?
Are you some Lightweight Choker? We're gonna get us some great Laws;
not phony EUgyptian Laws; we're gonna get our own Fantastic Laws. See
that Hill up there, Hammo, I'm gonna go right up that hill; right now
and bring back some Laws”
3.
So Mose high-tails outta town and starts climbing that Hill. As he
climbs he can hear the Brexitites behind him cheering. Some are
saying:
4.“Way
to go, Mose; Climb that Hill, Mose! Climb that Hill!”
5.Others
are yelling.“Take back our Laws, Mose! Bring it on Home for me,
baby!”
6.
When he clambers to the top Mose is a bit light-headed. He sits down
panting.” That was more like a mountain than a hill. Mose don't
feel too good ” he says to himself.
7.Now
unbeknownst to Mose, Jeremiah-Bin-Corby, an insurgent, who is truly
wacko, has crept into the Dover bar and spiked Mose's drink. Mose
collapses to the ground; he is burning up, but it's not just him,
whose burning up, a lone bush next to him bursts into flame –
unbelievable; kapow it's on fire.
8.Then
this super colossal voice comes from the bush and starts ordering
Mose about:
“Get
your ass back down the mountain it says; pick up those 2 tablets of
stone I've left for you and give them Brexitites some new laws.”
9.
Mose falls into a deep sleep for I don't know how long. When he wakes
up he looks at the bush and it's like nothing has happened to it. Its
leaves aren't even singed.
“I
said it would take a miracle for Brexiting EUgypt to work but this
wasn't quite what I was thinking of” Mose mutters to himself
10.
Mose gropes around a bit and finds these two tablets of stone lying
nearby – fabulous;mind-blowing; made by real craftsman:
“We're
gonna repatriate stone-masonry; no more global stone-masonry!”
shouts Mose in that big voice of his. Then Mose notices that there's
some writing on the tablets. He reads off the words:
11.
“New Laws for the Brexitites and then in brackets (break the bonds
of EUgypt- Take Back Control); and there it is, all written out for
Mose – nothing for him to do.
12.
So Mose runs down the hill he is a whoopin' and ahollerin'.
“I've
got the new laws, beautiful laws; you're gonna love 'em! Look at
these tablets, made by our own craftsmen; no foreign labour;
astonishing.
- By this time the Brexitites have surrounded Mose; some are weeping with joy; others are chanting
“Waited
so long for this; waited too long for this!”
14.
Then the cry goes up
“Read
the Laws, Mose. Read the Laws”
15.
Mose gets out that big voice of his again and starts
Law
1 – No infidel to breach our Borders
Law
2 - There shall be no movement of peoples except where the people are
EUgyptians
Law
3 - Brexitite laws administered by Brexitite Courts except when
EUgyptian Law says otherwise
Law
4 –
- Mose is about to proclaim Law 4 when the voice of a child in the crowd is heard above the clamour to say:
“ These
are not new Laws they are the same Laws we had under the EUgyptians.
“
Here
ends the lesson; Rev. Donald. T. Rump will take as his next text
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