Terminator 6 - The Return of the Vainglorious

Terminator 6 -  The Return of the Vainglorious



It was back in the Autumn of 2013 that the then MP for West Wirral, and Employment Minister,

 first came to our notice. I talk of none other than Esther McVague. Mc Vague did hard time in the

 putrefying Coalition trenches, launching attack after attack on welfare shirkers and those receiving

 disability allowance. Who can forget the target she set for herself of removing 300,000 from

 Disability Allowance because, as we all know 'bodies heal'? She received the Distinguished Service 

Order (DSO) for being the willing attack dog for IDS' barmy policies. Again, who can forget her woofing

 on that 'food banks are positive and to be expected' or that 'job seekers could be sanctioned for failing

 to accept zero hours contracts'. Not only this but super-trooper that she is, McVague made the

 ultimate sacrifice by taking a hit for the Coalition's disastrous social policy – she lost her seat at the 

2015 election.
But, you can't keep a good attack dog down – Mc Vague nosed her way back into Parliament by 

securing  George 'Gid' Osborne's vacated seat of Tatton, complete with its unassailable Tory majority.

 Now, like it's Ground Hog Day, Mc V. is back at Work & Pensions but this time as the Leaderene. 

She has had no trouble getting back on the horse and has already endeared herself to people in her

 home city of Liverpool by closing Job Centres.
To mark Mc Vague's elevation to a post, where she can give full rein to the skills she learned as 

Director to a Company specializing in demolition and site clearance (JG McVey & Co.); and in

 celebration of McVague's relentless devotion to obfuscation, distortion and self promotion, I have turned

 to Gilbert & Sullivan's Pirates of Penzance and offer you: 


I am the very model of a Modern Cabinet Minister



I am the very model of a Modern Cabinet Minister
I'll make up information, both inaccurate and  sinister,
I'll seek out the work-shy, welfare cheats, the leaches on the state,
Watch the homeless figures climb at an exponential rate,
I'm a mistress of fake figures and general obfuscation,
Fibs, massaged statistics to mislead all the nation;
I'll baffle; I will fuddle and create mayhem and muddle,
I'll have MacD and Corby cringing in a huddle;
I'll see off Witty Emily, I personally will do for 'er
You see I am the very model of an ambitious Cabinet Minister.

Policy initiatives, I have them by the squillion,
Winter for all claimants -  it's gonna be a chilly'un;
Disabled sanctions – got 'em surging past a million
Closing Job Centres, set to save a billion
No job too irksome or too insignificant -
Never missed an opportunity to prey upon the ignorant
But never catch me lying, dissembling or indefensible
I'll always be well-groomed, smooth and, of course, presentable
I'll see off Terry May, her government's just canicular 
You see I am the very model of a Modern Cabinet Minister.


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