CLEMANTICS hears that there is a new game, which has swept Whitehall this summer.
Invented by The Jokester @ Number 10 it is based on the genius game invented by Michael Miles 'TAKE YOUR PICK - The Yes/No Interlude'
Contestants are challenged to complete one minute of conversation without saying Yes or NO. If they are successful they win a worthless prize.
CLEMANTICS is privileged to present to you, our readers
The Chancers' Yes/No Interlude
Michael Miles: (for it is he) And the next would-be-Chancer right in here, please
(strange man with Robespierre-style glasses and wearing jodhpurs sashays across stage)
MM: Your name,sir?
Nadine Zimbabwe: Nadine Zimbabwe
MM: And where are you from Mr. Rhodesia-South?
NZ: I'm a citizen of nowhere
MM: You did say 'Citizen of Nowhere' didn't you, Mr. Zimany?
(MM breaks into song 'Zim Zimany, ZimZimany Zim, Zimaroo – Rwanda is the place for people like you)
NZ: I did Michael...Just a little joke between Mistress May (Gone but easily forgotten). And my good-self. I'm really from Stratford
MM: Is it true that your 'friends' in the City have given you the sobriquet of 'Useful Idiot'?
NZ: Oh, indeed. I think it was first coined by my good friend, Dominic Sekkond-Cummings of Ipod
MM: You like horses don't you, Mr. Rwanda?
NZ: I do like horses; especially fillies (he nudges MM playfully)
MM:You did say you like horse-play, didn't you, Mr Zimmer-Frame?
NZ: Ye... (NZ just stops himself from saying yes) I do like horse-play but I, in fact, said, and I have gone on the record about this, that I have a stable in deepest Warwickshire.
MM: Must cost a lot to keep the fillies warm, Mr Zambia. Ever thought of claiming it on expenses?
NZ: (Throws MM a suspicious look) It's a vile calumny but I would expect no less from the BBC!
MM: That's a non-sequitur, wouldn't you say, Mr Zappa. Are you practised in them?
NZ: Of course I am, how else do you think I've floated to the top?
MM: Did you say you're just a big floater, in this Shit-Show, Mr Zeuss?
NZ: No, I did not. You're twisting my words. Are you sure you're not working for Newsnight?
MM: (a gong sounds off set) Oh! Bad luck Mr. Zimbabwe you said 'no' to my question so you will not go through to the next round. But fear not no-one leaves us empty handed! Come over here.
They look together at a screen, which appears above the audience.
You have won a month's holiday at an Airbnb in Downing Street South West London, all expenses paid with full use of the facilities. How do you feel about that Mr Z, or may I call you Nadine? (Holds out a key fob with number 11 clearly visible).
NZ: Really chuffed; but can I stay beyond the month?
MM: Sorry, old chum but it's booked out to someone else from mid-August but I hear that there's a property in Lancaster, which might meet your needs.
MM: to camera 'We'll take a short break now before we greet the next - the intriguingly named Mr. Kami-Kwasi – who wants to play
'Yes but No but Yes but No Interlude.
"Another fine mess I've got you into..."
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