Monday, 9 January 2023

ECONOMIC GROWTH FOR BEGINNERS

 

ECONOMIC GROWTH FOR BEGINNERS  

   

A STATEMENT 

 

 

  


 in association with BLEEDING OBVIOUS PRODUCTIONS -  proud sponsors of the Truss-Kwarteng Institute for Those in Need of Remedial Learning)


A PRIMER FOR THE AGES

 

Star Trek, the Final Frontier. Much the same could be said of the UK’s pursuit of economic growth – it’s out there somewhere. 

During a period last year, the phrase “economic orthodoxy” became rather newsworthy promoted as it was by Right Dozy Liz Truss and her faithful, if somewhat naïve, pet, Khazi Kartoon. 

Her objective was to declare war on such orthodoxy and provide a means by which the economy could reach its full Brexit potential. 

First, let’s be clear, in the Northern hemisphere at least, “economic orthodoxy” comprises ageing, mainly white men pursuing economic strategies that ultimately assist in the maintenance and increase of both their wealth and power. We, that is the hoi polloi, have no say in this process unless or until the strategy goes to shit, in which case these grey men turn to us and order us to shoulder the responsibility for paying down the debt by reducing our wages and/or reducing some to penury; needless to say those who caused the downturn are left financially untouched or in too many cases for comfort increase their wealth through a complex process of hedging their bets -  don’t ask! 

Anyway, credit where credit’s due, at least “In God we Truss”took on the money men and in this endeavour she and Khazi had a head start in that she was female, and he wasn’t white. Unfortunately, her plan involved nothing more than uncosted tax cuts with the result that the money markets crashed and that was the end of that - and the Liz and Khazi show. 

Side Bar: 

This outcome also demonstrated once and for all that, whilst we might be a so-called sovereign state, the belief that we can go out in the world and determine our own future regardless other’s demands is complete and utter nonsense. 

But I digress. 

The first and most important lesson in challenging the economic orthodoxy – and dealing with the cost-of-living crisis is to drive the economy from the bottom up not the top down. 


Here’s how 

  1. Increase taxation on the income of the wealthy - especially if they are white, male and ageing – and end the anachronism that is nom dom status. 
  2. Incorporate Social Care as an integral arm of the NHS -problematic? -get over yourselves and find a solution. 
  3. Provide
    The outcome of these simple changes will be revelatory. 

    It is fair to say that the increase in taxation will not cover the whole cost of these changes but remember the government will recoup some of the cost through personal taxation of the workers involved who will, in turn, spend more money thus bolstering the economy. 

    In any event, we are a rich country – allegedly – not subject to the restrictions of a household budget and can carry debt without it being too much of a drag on our potential for growth as long as those from whom we borrow have confidence of our stewardship of the economy; think back to the situation after World War II, debt did not prevent the Labour government from achieving great things. 

    Secondly, substantial increase in pay will attract applicants to these public services and fill the many vacancies. This in turn will ease the pressure of existing staff and, over time, staff retention will improve. 

    For goodness sake, when people are treated with respect and provided with a decent salary and working conditions they will respond and will, in addition, increasingly respect themselves and strive to repay the trust others place in them. 

    Sound like humbug? I don't think so, sounds more like a potential economic orthodoxy and a recipe for growth.
  4. Provide all NHS and Social Care staff with an immediate and unconditional 12% pay rise. 

    NB: Amended conditions of service to be subject to negotiation at a later date.  

    The outcome of these simple changes will be revelatory. 

    It is fair to say that the increase in taxation will not cover the whole cost of these changes but remember the government will recoup some of the cost through personal taxation of the workers involved who will, in turn, spend more money thus bolstering the economy. 

    In any event, we are a rich country – allegedly – not subject to the restrictions of a household budget and can carry debt without it being too much of a drag on our potential for growth as long as those from whom we borrow have confidence of our stewardship of the economy; think back to the situation after World War II, debt did not prevent the Labour government from achieving great things. 

    Secondly, substantial increase in pay will attract applicants to these public services and fill the many vacancies. This in turn will ease the pressure of existing staff and, over time, staff retention will improve. 

    For goodness sake, when people are treated with respect and provided with a decent salary and working conditions they will respond and will, in addition, increasingly respect themselves and strive to repay the trust others place in them. 

    Sound like humbug? I don't think so, sounds more like a potential economic orthodoxy and a recipe for growth.

    Ramblin'Syd andThe Clemantics Team


     

Saturday, 17 December 2022

Diary of a Nobody Somebody Nobody by Nadine Zimbabwe (5) (after George and Weedon Grossmith)

 

Diary of a Nobody Somebody Nobody by Nadine Zimbabwe (5) (after George and Weedon Grossmith)


                                                  Separated at Birth: 

Nadhim Zahawi                                       Nadine Zimbabwe



Once again Dear Diary I have neglected you unforgivably. But to be honest (am I ever anything else?!!) things have been moving quicker than Alpinista in this year's L'Arc. But cards on the table I have been busy putting the finishing touches to part 2 of my memoirs


“In and Out of the Cabinet – the Deck-Chairs years”


Mrs Zim (as always) has been a complete brick. Her editorial interventions have been priceless! It's down to her that I unashamedly self-reference as 'Go-to man' throughout. After all, as she opines 'that's what you have become, Nad'.


Well, I suppose it all really got going when 'Stabber' Sunak resigned, having hot-footed it back from his States-side flat, where he'd been to exercise his green card and celebrate July 4th.


July 5th

Just spent a happy day at The Free School in Stratford encouraging the Head Honcho to adopt my equine-themed curriculum, when I get a message from the Missus saying ' Our Esteemed Leader' needs to talk pronto.

Of course, I have to make the call in full sight (and hearing!!) of everyone

“Is that you, Nad, old friend? Or should I call you Chancellor? Get yourself over to the Treasury, quam brevissime ! Spot of trouble with the Duplicitous Sunak Shit. Long story short, you're in!”


“ So I am now Chancellor of the Exchequer “(oohs and ahhs from , assembled gathering)


“ That's what I'm saying! O puer stultus . You're the only one who can stay aboard this lively filly!!“


July 7th

Whata coup!A humble lad plucked from the backstreets of Baghdad to Rule Britannia. 2 days into the job and still to see a spreadsheet! Perm Sec (ominously known as 'The Riddler' because he likes to get rid of Chancellors) tells me

“Be like Little George (Osborne) and steer clear of the numbers. I've left a few back copies of Super-Stud and Feral Fillies to keep you going,” he says with a wink.


Later:

Am enjoying the centrefold of Feral Fillies when Burner 2 starts vibrating pleasantly in my back pocket:


“Hello Fatso! It's me. How are you enjoying the new job? Cream floats to the top as do other solids, I hear.”


It's the Barnard Bully. “What can I do for you Dom, you old Devil? (always best to keep a psycho on side)


“ 'Ask not what you can do for me but what you can do for my country' as someone once said. And the answer is don your toughest pair of riding clogs and stick the boot in. It's either that or shit on with the shit-show. Seriously, Bunter, give Big Dog a good kicking and seize the top job.”


“Really Dom? Do you think I'm up to the job.”


'Of course, you're not. But with me by your side – Butch and Sundance...'


“ But what do I say? Mrs Z. told me that I should nail my colours to the mast of HMS Bigslob and to ride out the choppy seas with Cap'n Brexit-Dunn”


“Suit yourself, Fatso but should you find yourself up Creek Scheisser, I've sent you a cracker of a resignation letter, which will be the final coffin nail for Mr. Carrie”


July 6th

I run into Big Dog on the way to the Chamber. I assure him with, what my favourite stable lass calls, my best oleaginous smile that I am solid.

He responds gnomically ' More solid than a constipated donkey's turd, you old Cheshire Cat?'

(Does he not know that Zimbabwe Towers is in Warwickshire?)


July 7th

Big Dog takes a real drubbing at PMQs. Dom's right (as always) time to get off the Titanic and into the life-boat.


Later

Can't resist a little smirk as I read back my resignation letter, which is winging its way like an exocet to my next-door neighbour (No, not Jumped up Jonny at no. 7, who organises the Stratford gymkhana)


Dear Bozza, Old Friend,


Well you have kicked Yours Truly once too often. No longer am I prepared to shovel s**t from the Downing Street stable. I have readily, nay willingly, bent my buttocks for a good kicking by Kuenssburg, Bruce, Kearney 'n Robinson and many more besides (not without a certain enjoyment, I must confess) but in all conscience I can render my ass in your service no more. During the last three years you have fcucked the country but now you must fcuck off yourself. In case your thinking that, despite this letter, we can still be stable-mates, there will be no place for you in My Government, I'm afraid. THERE IS NO WAY BACK!!!

As ever, your Useful Idiot,

Nad Z.

PS I'm Heartbroken, I'm playing 'Go Now' by the Moody Blues (and let's face it there are plenty of those around in the 1922 at the moment!!) as I write this...

----------------------------------------------------

Of course, the above missive was not for public consumption. Instead I have put an entry on Twitter(as dictated to me by the Genius Barnard Blogster) – SEE BELOW


Prime Minister: this is not sustainable and it will get worse for you, for the Conservative Party and most importantly of all the Country. You must do the right thing and GO NOW



Later Later


Big Dog toppled!! Nad you Old Stallion, you got the call right again Let the Games Begin!!


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Next up: More Revelations: 6 Weeks of Summer – Phew Watta Scorcher





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