'Mob Rule (is) Replacing Democratic Rule'.

 

Our esteemed PM informed the nation that 'Mob Rule (is) Replacing Democratic Rule'. So what did the Rishmeister mean by this?

Well let's meet the MOBSTERS, who are hell-bent on destroying our world-class(?) democracy:

SU 'Cruella' BRAVERMANaka LEAKY SU

The world according to Cruella:

 " The truth is that the Islamists, the extremists and the antisemites are in charge now. They have bullied the Labour Party and now they have bullied our country into submission."

‘I would love to have a front page of the Telegraph with a plane taking off to Rwanda, that’s my dream, it’s my obsession’

It’s the coalition of chaos, it’s the Guardian-reading, tofu-eating wokerati’

"There are 100 million people around the world who could qualify for protection under our current laws. Let us be clear - they are coming here."

Cruella's world is inhabited by a world full of 'hate marches'; police 'playing favourites' with protesters: where 'swarms' of immigrants are waiting to 'invade' our country.

LIZ 'THE LETTUCE' TRUSS

Ms. Gobshite's world view

The Lettuce believes that she is ' now operating in what is a hostile environment' where she needs ' a bigger bazooka in order to be able to deliver her dreams

 In the dystopian country, which is the UK , La Truss asserts 'Our history is being challenged, even our biology is being challenged.” In affected disbelief she raises the question  'Can you imagine that 10 years ago that we’d be talking about what a woman is or what a man and having a serious argument about it. It’s incredible?'

La Truss's Britain '24 is a country, where 'woke economics prevail'; where the media, the civil service is dominated by' trans activists, environmental extremists',in short a'deep state' which has hobbled The Lettuce's attempts to govern.”

Trussy, aka The Norfolk Mystic sees the future like none other and warns the UK citizenry “There’s going to be a byelection in the next few weeks, and it could be a radical Islamic party win in that byelection. So that is a possibility.”

 

LEE ANDERSON aka LEE NEANDERTHAL aka 30pLEE

 

 

The wisdom of the 30p Mobster

 

 Asylum Seekers - 'Send (them) to Orkney not Rwanda' or maybe '(they) should fuck off back to France

Rule of law -  'Ignore the law...we should just get the planes in the air right now

 

Transphobia - ' I would not follow Eddie Izzard into the toilets

 

Islamophobia - 'They’ve (Islamists) got control of Sadiq Khan and they've got control of London.He's actually given our capital city away to his mates

 

Housing Law -  ' "Nuisance Tenants" should be forced to live in tents and pick potatoes'

  

Advice for us all - 'When you think you are right you should never apologise because to do so would be a sign of weakness.' 

CLEMANTICS WILL IDENTIFY OTHER MOBSTERS SHORTY

 

In the meantime

 

Police advise the public that if you see any of these Mobsters:

 

 DO NOT APPROACH. THESE INDIVIDUALS ARE DANGEROUS

 

Suella's Christmas Dream - Small Man in small boat Apprehended

 

 

C'mon play 'Spot the Difference'

 'Spot the Difference'

 The righteous and fully justified work of a nation exercising its right to defend itself

 

 

 

The work of an evil dictator seeking to subjugate and annex a country

 

Whether Gaza or Ukraine it's just wholesale slaughter

But you don't count the dead when God's on your side

And you never ask questions when God's on your side...

But I can't think for you, you'll have to decide
Whether Netanyahu or Putin has God on his side.

 

(adapted from Bob Dylan's 'With God on Your Side'}

 

 

 

GAZA – AN INTRACTABLE PROBLEM?

 

GAZA – AN INTRACTABLE PROBLEM?

(With thanks to Jonathan Swift)

And lo it came to pass, in the year of our Lord 2023, that a great host rose up, crossed the border of Judea – sorry Israel – and slew many worshippers of music and other citizens of the land who had the temerity to be in their path.

When the news reached the King of Judea – sorry, the prime minister of Israel – Benny Notinmybackyau, he was sore troubled and called together all his worshippers, including those so crazy they should never be allowed anywhere near the throne – I mean the seat of power.

Benny, in his pompiest pomp, vowed to destroy these insurgents who were known as “Hamass-of-a-Mess” With great fanfare, he sent forth his loyal Defence Force, cunningly disguised as an Attack Force, into the land of Gaza to wreak vengeance on the insurgents.

He destroyed many homes and, in his turn, killed many innocents but could not, for all his might, defeat the notion that is “Hamass-of-a-Mess” The burden of leadership lay heavy on the sloping shoulders of Benny Notinmybackyau and knowing not what to do, plunged into a slough of despond that God had forsaken him.

Then, when all seemed lost, out of the West following a star backwards, came three wiseish men who counselled Benny Notinmybackyau of a gift of great power that would rid him of the menace that was “Hamass-of-a-Mess” once and for all.

“What gift” said Benny greedily

The three wiseish men replied.

“Why a foolproof (sic) gift”

“Well what is it” demanded Benny.

The three wiseish men looked toward one another, and following a nod of their wiseish heads, said in unison.

“Just as in past times, King Herod of Judea was threatened by the birth of Jesus Christ, so are you likewise threatened by the insurgents “Hamass-of-a-Mess”.

Your gift, therefore, is to follow the example of King Herod and kill all the children of Gaza, now and for all future generations. By so doing, Gaza and its people will cease to exist and you, O’Worthy One can take this cursed land into your realm in one fell swoop rather than bit by bit as you seem want to do in violation of international laws.

A smirk came over Benny’s face as he reflected on what he had been told, but then the three wiseish men turned to him and said.

“But beware, for you will become a pariah in the world”

“Tush” replied Benny.

But the three continued.

“There is, of course, a further gift should you wish to hear it.

To achieve a lasting peace for all peoples, you might negotiate a settlement based upon the needs and aspirations of both Palestinians and Israelis. For surely, they simply wish to live their , lives in peace and security and can do so, if you were prepared to make some concessions so that justice is achieved for all”

Benny looked up and snarled,

“Sod that for a game of soldiers. Begone you aged do gooders, back to your land and keep your noses out of other people’s business”

The three wiseish men turned Westward and as they trudged slowly away, heard only the sound of bombs bombs and more bombs,

-And there was no peace in the land.

Remembrance Day Special

 

REMEMBRANCE DAY SPECIAL

Dame Vera leads our esteemed leaders, past & present, in a traditional sing-a-long

Sod em all, sod em all, the long and the short and the fool,

The fool is the one who's dressed like a scruff

God knows what he looks like when he's in the buff,

For the rest, life is terribly unjust,

Who knew they'd create such a fuss,

They look like a joke and certainly not woke,

And the joke well, of course it's on us!

One more time... Sod 'em all etc. etc

Lo there was a second coming

 

THE SECOND COMING

 

c

And there was abiding in the same country King Rish of Richman, who tarried by his state of the art pool along with his two trusted servants James Cleverless and Lee, Son of Ander; , and God did descend unto them in a cloud as the steam room door opened. And God spoke to Rish most directly

'Get thee hence to Chipping-cum-Tory. For Salvation is at hand. Do not delay. You will find the New Saviour living in a humblish hut called 'Life-style choice'. Take the bird that whirleth in the sky, if necessary' and don't forget to take an abundance of spondooliks.

The 3 'Wize' Men looked one to another

Bloody' Ell' exploded Lee, Son of Ander ' We needed a bloody miracle to save our fookin' skins and look what's just turned up. Let's jump in your friggin' whirly bird and get over to Cotswold Central right away!

'Don't you think we should take the train?. The whirlygig is not a good look with the peasants? mused Rish

'Fook off ye Tosser; anyway the trains aren't running because of the RMT Bar-Stewards' responded Lee

'I have a brainwave. Maybe we could take the 'copter and get a bus for the last bit of the journey' suggested Cleverless

'There's nothing for it – I'm going to make a strong executive decision in the interests of my supporters in the Kingdom, I mean the whole country' asserted King Rish.

( Lee aside to Cleverless) That'll be a fookin' change; Ole Spineless 'll be growing a pair next

King Rish with his chopper

And so it came to pass that the 3 'Wize' men journeyed to Chipping-cum-Tory where the house-keeper, Sam, at Korrwhattapile Towers directed them to a modestish Shepherd's Hut adjacent to the pool behind the herb garden.

It was with due authority that King Rish reached for the bell-pull. ''I'm in the money” bell-tone rang out full heartily.

“What have we here?” enquired a boyish Quinquagenarian, brandishing a tennis racket

Let's cut to the fookin' chase,” said no non-sense Lee, Son of Ander, “Are you or are you not the Friggin' Saviour? If not we'll fook off back to Redwall, or at least Iwill.

“Well, I suppose I am” replied David of Cameroon smoothly “But you can call me Dave ,if you like”

“ The thing is” began King Rish in a quasi-masterful voice “God has sent us”

“Oh, good” interrupted Dave “Did you bring any Spondooliks or maybe some shares in a Hedge Fund?”

“Well actually we have an opening for a Saviour, like yourself” said King Rish, happily getting things on a business footing “It's a zero hours contract but if you complete the job successfully there will be more than adequate remuneration and as far as bonuses are concerned the sky's the limit. Also you would have the title of Foreign Secretary brackets (Saviour of Mankind)

“Sounds fair “ mused Dave “ I do rather fancy a new title.But what exactly is the job?”

“ It's quite simple” piped up Cleverless “ You just have to go down to Gaza (only the nice part) and have your photo taken with a few world leaders, (not Raz Putin or Li Qango, of course, and maybe settle the Israel-Palestine question, at the same time.”

“ I must advise you, Your Saviourship ” chipped in King Rish oleagenously “That there are 2 parts to the commission. The other is to SAVE THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY.

“Fcucking Hell” responded a Gob-smacked Dave. The Gaza bit is a stretch but saving the Tories will need a miracle. It's gonna cost you...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------