The Epistle According to St Dom

The Epistle According to St Dom

 

And lo, it came to pass that the Sainted Dom and Mary, who was a bit under the weather and with child – well, with a child anyway – were constrained to save the BOY CHILD and return unto the city of the sainted Dom which is called Durham.

After journeying for many miles there was no room at Chéz Cummings and so the BOY CHILD was laid in an outhouse recently converted to a holiday let.

And Mary praised the sainted Dom who had delivered them to safety into the arms of the blessed child carers that the BOY CHILD might at last be saved; later, Mary wrote of their merciful journey so that all in the land might rejoice.

There then came to the family the sainted Dom’s sister – locally called the Angel of the North – and several wise children bearing gifts of hummus and dips, tinned tomatoes and Ribena.

Yet unto the family was a plague borne out of China. The sainted Dom and Mary succumbed to the plague and while they rested the BOY CHILD healed their sickness and suffered not the devil to speak because he had the blessed Ribena.

And lo, when both had recovered but during the couple’s purification period, the sainted Dom in praise of the BOY CHILD removed them for a quick shufti round Barnard Castle.

It came to pass that, at last, the sainted Dom arose and took the BOY CHILD and his mother and returned to the land of London in the upmarket city of Islington that he might be amongst the prophets of his support.

But when people of Tablets learned of the flight into Durham there was much wailing, indignation and gnashing of teeth. And so it was that great doo doos was heaped on their heads and the people of the land demanded ‘Repent ye and leave the house of Johnson and go forth into the wilderness.

What is the moral of our story?

 

I suppose the belief that if you are one of most powerful persons in the country then the laws and regulations by which society maintains a civilised structure do not apply to you and that, even when challenged, integrity and honour are foreign lands to you.

But, as the Romans were always mindful, beware the mob, because the strands that hold society together depend totally on the trust and support of the people. Undermine that trust and chaos ensues…

Although, isn’t that exactly what the sainted Dom wants?