Service of 9 Carols and 9 Lessons

ClemAntics

ClemAntics Extends Seasonal Greetings to All Our Readers - May the Farce Be With You

You are Invited this Christmas to Share in:

The Festival of 9 Carols and 9 Lessons from St. Theresa's The Church of Our Lady of Duplicity, Maidenhead

Carol - The First --The Three Sh*ts

I saw 3 Sh*ts bring Brexit in

One bright June day, one bright June day

I saw 3 Sh*ts bring Brexit in

Now half the nation's in mourning

The First lesson is taken from the Book of Proverbs 1:

The promises of Leaders, who claim to be daughters of Church of England vicars must be taken with a generous helping of salt

Carol -the Second – Not-so Merry Gentlemen

God help us every working-man

There's plenty more to pay

with 40 billion for Brexit

And with inflation on the way

The Second Lesson is taken from the Book of Proverbs 2:

Never trust a journalist who turns MP. Never trust a MP who turns journalist

 .

Carol -the Third – 'kin Wenceslas

Czech Labourer Wenceslas fcucked off home

on the Feast of Brexit

The fruit just lay round about

No workers left to pix it?

The Third Lesson is taken from the Book of Proverbs 3:

Beware geeks bearing gifts of £350 million

Carol -the Fourth – Ha'way in a Manger

Be a dog in a Manger

Cut your nose off instead

No attempt to staunch the flow

As the economy bled

The Fourth Lesson is taken from the Book of Proverbs 4:

Never be DUPED by DUP – (Don't Underestimate Protestants)

Carol -the Fifth – The 3 Kings?

We 3 Kings of Mendacity are

Deceit and lie have served us this far

With falsity and fib we'll tickle your rib,

Kings of misrepresentation we are , we are…oh! Oh!

The Fifth Lesson is taken from the Book of Proverbs 5:

Never get caught between 2 Fools

Carol -the Sixth – In the Bleak Mid-Winter?

In the bleak mid-Winter

The nation's left to moan

Wages are still unfrozen

Sterling falls like a stone

The Sixth Lesson is taken from the Book of Proverbs 6:

The course of true love never did run smooth

Carol -the Seventh – Bethlehem

O let us live it down in Bedlam

Lets continue to live BoJo's lie

Though we're in deep; we're all just sheep

Let's just let it all pass by

The Seventh Lesson is taken from the Book of Proverbs 7:

Talking through one's hat is a skill only few can perfect

Carol -the Eighth – Lully Lullay

Lully, Lullay, thou little Tiny Isle

somewhere off the coast of Europe

Bye Bye, Big world

Bye Bye, lully lullay

The Eighth Lesson is taken from the Book of Proverbs 8:

Time future has passed and Time past is time future

Carol -the Ninth – Joy to the World

Joy to the world! Brexit is come

Let Theresa make BoJo King

Bring on Gover with his broom

'Lord Help us!' let us sing

'Lord help us!' let us sing

'Lord Help us!' let us sing

'Lord Help us!' let us sing

The Ninth Lesson is taken from the Book of Proverbs 9:

In the evening when the sky grows dark in the West it is full of chickens flying home to roost

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But at this festive time of year let us not forget

• 130,000 children homeless and in temporary accommodation*

• Rough Sleepers up 134% since the Tories came to power*

• Rough Sleepers up 7% on 2016 to a new 10 year High*

• Almost 400,000 more children UK were living in poverty last year compared with 2012-13**

• 300,000 more pensioners in the UK were living in poverty last year compared with 2012-13**

*Figures from Independent Newspaper

**Figures from Joseph Rowntree Trust